Choices » Adoption

Two adoption stories

Natalie: “When I found out I was pregnant at 16, I was petrified and had no idea what to do next. Should I get an abortion or keep it? One of the women at the Miami Valley Women’s Center talked to me about all of my options and answered my questions. I gained a new insight about adoption. I had no idea that you could choose your baby’s family, and I would never have guessed that you could be a part of your child’s life. I went home that night and told my mom, Bev, the news… news my parents had always feared being told.”

Bev: “I have to admit at first, it was all about me. “How could you do this to me? Didn’t I teach you ant better than this?” What would my family, friends and co-workers think? I was truly devastated. For the first month or so, I was reeling. I did recognize that Natallie was responsible, 16 or not, and that she would be the one to primarily live with the consequences of her and Justin’s actions even though it would impact lots of people for the rest of their lives. Her father and I reminded her how we felt about abortion, but we told her we would support her decision (unconditional love does prevail).”

Natalie and Bev are just one case of a mother and daughter faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Seeking answers at the MVWC provided them with the information that they needed to make an informed decision. As Natalie’s pregnancy progressed, she decided that adoption was the right choice for her. She joined the Loving Choice Adoption support group and found love, support and acceptance. She and her boyfriend went through an adoption agency and looked through many books of parents to find the right family for their child.

Natalie: “While it has without a doubt, been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’m very proud of the choice that I made. I know that this is the only way my son with be able to live the life I want for him and I know for a fact, that if it weren’t for the Loving Choice Adotption Support Group I wouldn’t have been able to go through this. Thanks to them, a wonderful family’s fream of two children has been fulfilled. My son can live a great life and I can live at peace with my decision and get back to my life’s goals. The group never failed to be there for me when I need them the most.”

Bev: “Right at 48 hours Natalie handed her little baby boy to the adoptive parents while social workers looked on. The tears just wouldn’t stop. The decision became final the next day when the actual paperwork was signed. Closure to the decision came that night at a beautiful Entrustment Ceremony held at Smith Garden, while again Loving Choice was there to help us through… I know in my heart that my grandson is right where he is supposed to be.”

Priscilla was in college when she discovered she was pregnant. She and her boyfriend decided they were not ready to raise a child, so she placed for adoption. She came to the Miami Valley Women’s Center after making her adoption decision. This is her story...

Five months after I placed my child with an adoptive family, I was referred to “The Loving Choice” adoption support group at the Miami Valley Women’s Center. At that time, there were just two other girls besides myself and our two leaders, Jamie and Diane. I went into the group with little expectation and a year later, I am amazed at how my life has been impacted by the group.

In the past year our group has grown from the two we began with to somewhere between 25 and 30 girls. We have experienced growing pains, we have changed the format of our group a couple of times, but we are learning with each group we have.

We have had one birth father attend our group, we have had birth grandparents and even some adoptive parents attend our group.

Everyone has a story and there is an incredible power in sharing our stories. All of our stories are different. We differ in age, ethnicity, in social class. Some of us have other children while some of us are still living with our parents. Our stories are so unique and yet our hearts are so similar.

We represent a group of women who have given our children to other people to raise. We have broken hearts and so much love for our children, no matter how much healing I have experienced my heart will always long for my first born daughter.

Although it is hard for people to associate adoption with love, I know for myself that I had to love my daughter enough to give her to a two-parent home, a home I could not give her at the time of her birth. Selfishly speaking, I would have kept my daughter in a heart beat. Because I wanted nothing more than to be able to parent the child I had loved and nurtured in my womb for nine months.

In our support group I have found love, acceptance, empathy and understanding. This is something that I have not always been able to find even with my own friends and family. Not because they didn’t want to give me those things but because I believe they were trying to deal with their own pain.

In our group we not only share our stories, we share our hardships, we pray for each other, we laugh together, we talk through adoption issues, and discuss our fears and anxieties over upcoming visits, and the complexities of our relationships with adoptive parents. We share pictures, and our current life situations. And through this we have been able to develop deeper relationships and friends. I know I will be friends with Diane, Jamie, and Natalie for the rest of my life. In the last six months there probably hasn’t been a week where I didn’t have some kind of contact within our group- whether it is a phone conversation, a walk in the park, sharing a meal together, or visiting girls in the hospital when they are giving birth.

I have recently moved to Cincinnati to begin my Masters in Counseling, and I plan to drive to Dayton twice a month to be a part of this group. It is my prayer that as girls struggle with their crisis pregnancies, that they will find a safe place to explore their parenting options through the Women’s Center. And I hope to give back to the Women’s Center because I find it amazing at how much our group has grown this year. I personally feel a great loyalty to the group. I feel so blessed and am incredibly thankful to the Women’s Center and to Diane for the life changing experience this support group has provided me. I see God’s blessing and hand in this support group time and time again. I represent just one life of many whose lives have been touched and changed through this support group.

I wish you could hear the stories of all of the girls in our group. I now have a story of redemption to share with the world and a story of hope for those who are experiencing crisis pregnancies. It is my prayer that as girls are faced with crisis pregnancies they will find a safe place at the Women’s Center to explore their options.